The Gentle Art of Non-Complaining

I can’t believe my boss won’t give me those days off I requested!
I’ve been sitting here waiting for over 45 min…I want to speak to your supervisor.
Here I am on vacation and it’s raining!
They need to do something about all these homeless people.
The price of gas is ridiculous!
My steak is over-cooked!

Bitch, carp, fret, fuss, gripe, groan, grouse, growl, grumble, lament, moan, snivel, wail, whimper, whine, yammer

Call it what you will, complaining is one of the most pervasive and annoying of all human behaviors. Some call it "frumping." I like the word because it sounds exactly the way it feels when you hear someone do it. And that would be everyone on the planet. Psychologists say we do it 20 to 30 times a day. You'd think it was better than sex!

According to the dictionary to com•plain (k m-pl n ) is:

1. To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment.


Assuming you have not achieved sainthood, what are some of the common complaints you express or hear on a daily basis?

I was perusing a recent copy of AARP and came across an article entitled “The Art of Complaining.” I was sort of surprised…I didn’t think old people needed a tutorial on complaining, I figured by the time you reached your mature years, you pretty much had complaining down pat.

Complaining takes an awful lot of energy and it drains the energy of those around the complainer. Then when people start to complain in a group, it catches like wildfire and the energy of that group gets sucked into the downward spiral of complaining despair. Not only that but physically your heart rate and blood pressure are elevated and you can get headaches and stomachaches. Researchers have actually discovered that “second-hand complaining” or those who are in the presence of vocal complainers, have even more severe physical symptoms.

I think they should have a 12 step program for complaining. Hello, my name is Linda and I’m a complainer. (Everyone responds “Hello, Linda.”) There could be meetings in every DMV across the country because that’s where a huge amount of complaining occurs.

Let’s say you have identified yourself as a chronic complainer. What do you do about it? I know you want to change because you cannot live a happy healthy life if you fill every moment of it with the negative energy of complaining.

First thing you can do is to observe yourself.

Notice it because by changing your mind you change your life.

Stop it and replace the grousing with gratitude. “Thank-you” is a powerful, positive energy that you put out there.

How do you keep this in the forefront of your mind? Put a bracelet or colorful wide rubber band on your wrist. Every time you catch yourself complaining, move the rubber band to the opposite wrist. It’s called cognitive retraining. You could snap it against your wrist but then you’d complain about that, kind of defeats the purpose. See if you can do this for 21 days. New habits are formed in 21 days.

2nd thing is to express gratitude at every complaining occurrence. I keep a small stone or rock in my pocket or on my desk at all times as a reminder to be grateful. Replace the complaints and negativity with positive, grateful thoughts.

Although we all do it, we do have the capacity to reduce how much we complain. Imagine the peace we would experience in a complain-free, positive energy world. John Lennon said it this way:

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one.

Living in the Land of I Don't Know

Living in the Land of I Don't Know

Waiting for direction for which way to go.

Waiting for the Voice of the One who will show

When and where and why I should go

Yes, I'm living in the land of I don't know.

Abiding in the space of I don't know

It's all a state of grace

This I completely know.

Confused and scared as the four winds blow

Moving through the land of I don't know.

Resting in the arms of the One who does know

Protected and connected from above and below

Not resisting where I am in the I don't know

One step at a time, my path is aglow

As I float in the land of I don't know.

Rhapsody by the Sea

The sound of the surf rushing in and gifting me with hundreds of shells at my feet; the salty caresses of the breeze on my skin; the laughter and shouts of other beach-goers; the kiss of the late afternoon sun; all these greeted me when, finally, we arrived at Captiva Island on the west coast of Florida.

The earlier storm, which gratefully, we missed, left the water rather rough but that did not discourage our rapid entry into the waves, splashing and frolicking like kids.

My puppy, Rhapsody, actually a puppy in size only, was introduced to the ocean. A dachshund, by breed and temperament, naturally abhors the water. At home, it takes much difficulty to coach her out of doors to use the bathroom if she detects the slightest amount of moisture on the driveway. So I was quite sure she would rapidly retreat from the very wet waves that every few moments threatened to overtake her. Though she certainly didn’t plunge into the surf and was quite cautious, she was also quite curious, carefully checking out each wave. She chased some sea birds and as she became acquainted with this new experience, she pondered the wisdom of proceeding down crab holes. All in all, she seemed to enjoy herself.

My companion and I relished the beautiful sunset, always a marvel, that orange ball dropping silently into the sea. Good food, pleasant conversation and a warm connection was a perfect ending to our first day but also a lovely prelude to the beginning of our mini vacation.

The next day dawned bright and beautiful. We walked across the street to the Gulf with a cooler full of water and other munchies and settled in for the day. My fair skin did not appreciate my lack of attention and as we floated for hours in the warm aqua water, I managed to burn myself nearly senseless. Too late, I applied sunscreen and donned a long sleeve shirt. But I know I’d do it all over again. The call of the sea is too compelling.

In addition to burning my skin practically off, a quick run across the hot sand scorched the bottoms of my poor little feet…compelling or not, I will NOT do that again. Flip-flops are my new best friend.

The next afternoon, we enjoyed a parasail ride. This was something I had wanted to do ever since I arrived in FL nearly 26 yrs ago. Finally I got to go. What an incredible experience! Sitting on the back of the boat, strapped into a harness, the boat took off and as the wind caught in the parachute, we were pulled off the boat and into the wind! Amazing! Exhilarating! Riding approximately 60 ft above the sea, we looked down and saw stingrays, dolphins, sharks, and a sea turtle or two. WOW! I would do it again and again, it was wonderful.

But as the saying goes “all good things must come to an end”, and so it did. But still my gratitude runs deep for the time spent in quiet solitude, enjoying God’s lovely gifts of nature with my companion, Sandy, who made it all possible.

I AM Discovering the Power Within

In Discover the Power Within You, page 37, Eric Butterworth spoke to my heart when he said “…disturbing as the idea may seem, God is dead to you, if you are asleep to the activity of the Presence in you…If you are unaware of the greater dimension of your nature, then it doesn’t exist as far as you are concerned.” When I wake up, open up, I suddenly come alive to the ‘within’ of me, the depths of me and then Presence is very real – not as a separate entity but as the Is-ness of who I really am.

Sometimes difficult people and circumstances have entered my life to open me up wider and wider to Christ consciousness. Rather than run from the discomfort or attempt to eliminate the pain, I try to embrace it with open arms, seeking the learning. These people or circumstances are merely tools. Much like a car is relevant to move me from point A to point B, so difficult circumstances are present to move me from victim-like whining to the radiant glory being that I am.

This is not to say that pain and suffering, loss and devastation are always used to advance me but merely that those are the tools most likely to get and keep my attention. Are there those among us that need not experience the level of discomfort that I require?

I’ve learned that there is a more direct route, a better path, one not strewn with splintery planks and rusty nails. Conscious opening up is a gentler, kinder way. Though pain may be involved, the pain comes from a slow realization of my own erroneous thinking rather than messy life circumstances. Opening up to God who loves me and doesn’t wish ill on me (yet will allow it should that be my path choice) fills me with light and brings to my attention God’s all pervading goodness manifest in every aspect of my being. I need look nowhere else to find the solution to all my problems. Every answer is available to me but I must be open to receive. Like a screw top lid on a jar or doors on a kitchen cabinet, I open my mind and open my heart to listen with every fiber of my being. In the stillness, answers emerge, little by little, or all at once. Meditation prepares the way, sweeps out the cobwebs and makes ready the receptors.

More and more, as I open in awareness, I am experiencing the oneness I am with Spirit and the oneness I am with everything and everyone. This is magnificent.

Have a Glorious Day

Linda

Prosperity (con't) - Part 2

After my little gold PT Cruiser, crushed and maimed, was towed to the body shop, I received a rental car to use until the damage could be assessed and, hopefully, repaired. (Prosperity – Insurance covers rentals).

By mid-week I received the not-so-great-news that my insurance company was writing my car off as a complete and total loss. By now I had come to a place of peace and acceptance on this. I knew without a doubt that God had my back on this and I had an inner knowing (also known as intuition) that the scenario might pan out like this. I had begun to think about what I wanted to replace the Pt Cruiser. Certainly not another PT Cruiser! If going a max speed of 12 MPH could total a vehicle, I sure didn’t want another. I thought of the ramifications of traveling at say 40 or 50 MPH – my conclusions were not pretty. Nope, I wanted something sturdier. Like a small pick-up truck. Color – red!

From the time the insurance company told me of their decision, I had four more days with the rental and then I had to return it. Yet I had to wait for the settlement check from them before I could look for another car because whatever monies they gave me was all I had. Note the time lapse here – no more rental AND no money. YIKES!

Oh, you of little faith…

Happily, the check I received was twice what I imagined I would get, not a windfall but a workable amount. (PROSPERITY)

My son, Chris, was leaving the county for 8 days and graciously allowed me to borrow his vehicle while he was gone as long as it was returned precisely on the day he returned because he would need it immediately. PERFECT PROSPERITY! That took care of my immediate need.

The money arrived in my account on a Wednesday. I was going out of town the next day (Thursday)to fulfill a commitment I had made months prior and then return on the same Sunday that my son was returning and would be wanting his vehicle back. I would, on that very day, be vehicle-less. YIKES!

Except…

A co-worker had a nephew who was selling his little pick-up truck. A Ford Ranger. Can you guess the color? Yup - R E D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (PROSPERITY)

I got back into town on Sunday, early afternoon, and by late afternoon, my little red pick up truck was sitting in my driveway. (PERFECTLY PERFECT PROSPERITY)

I was able to purchase it, get some work done on it and buy a used washing machine (mine had died a week or two prior).

Oh…and by the way…I tithed on that insurance check…no hesitation or regrets. I wrote that check, as I write all my tithe checks, with joy and gratitude.

Wouldn’t you?

Peace and Love

Linda

Prosperity - Part 1

I recently completed a class offered by my church entitled “The 4T Prosperity Program”. I was excited about this class, assuming from the name that the focus would be mainly around the energy of bringing in more of the “green stuff”. Being a BIG FAN of the green stuff, I was all over that idea!

Within the first 15 min of the very first class, it was clear I had been badly mistaken about the whole “green stuff” idea – the focus on the class was actually to change consciousness which didn’t ring the way I had hoped it would but I did want to work on my consciousness otherwise I wouldn’t have chosen this church to attend. And besides, I was there and thought I might as well follow through and see what might happen.

The class itself cost $50 which I had to pay in installments and one of the main commitments of the class was to tithe. Now this idea scared me half to death. Though I had tithed in the past, I mostly felt that tithing applied more to other people than to me, after all, in the past I had given enormously of my time and talents so I figured God would cut me some slack in the tithing department. Besides that, this was most definitely NOT a good time to give away any of my money. I didn’t feel I had enough of it to spare, even for God. So I cried as I drove home that night, but then decided, “What the heck, it’s only 12 weeks, that’s 6 paychecks, I can do anything for 6 weeks.”

Almost immediately stuff started happening…and from the initial appearance, this “stuff” was not good stuff.

My plumbing, which has been an on again/off again problem in this nearly 65 year old house, began acting up. And by that terminology I am being literal as in not going down but indeed coming up. I called my plumber, “Billy the Plumber” but he was unable to get to me immediately. With gratitude I write here that I do have another bathroom which was not affected from the “obstruction” so I used that one until Billy could finally schedule a visit.

His visit was scheduled on a beautiful Saturday afternoon nearly two weeks later. I planned to run an errand or two in the morning and had just settled myself in my little gold PT Cruiser, pulled out of the driveway and drove three doors down to the stop sign when suddenly CRASH KABOOM, I smashed into another car. This was my fault completely having failed to stop at this stop sign where I had been stopping for 13 years! Why? I don’t know. Distracted by a garage sale on the corner, perhaps? So the cops come, I’m crying hysterically, got a $164 ticket but worse was that my little gold car was crumbled, undriveable – and I couldn’t have been going more that 12-15 MPH.

Billy the Plumber arrives later that afternoon and begins working on my clogged plumbing, commiserating with me sympathetically about the car (which a neighbor had already proclaimed “totaled” to which I cried even harder and louder with that bit of info knowing I had no way to buy another car) and the ticket blah blah blah.

Anyway, Billy works and works on my plumbing, unable to get the crap moving, muttering about how it was REALLY “ jammed-up” in there. I stopped him after about an hour and said, “How much have we spent so far because I have $100 and that is it. That’s all I’ve got. For real.”

He graciously said, “Nothing yet, I haven’t got you unplugged yet.” I was so grateful but as the minutes turned to hours, I knew he couldn’t do all that work for $100. And still the pipes were clogged. I walked around the outside of the house and the inside, visualizing light moving through the piping, opening up the way. While I was inside, he began packing up all his stuff. I figured he had given up. It was a hopeless case. And I literally had NO money for a more extreme method of unclogging. I asked him what should I do next and he looked at me quizzically, “We got it all moving again, you’re good to go! I about fainted with relief.

So the next big question. How much? Because he had worked non-stop for 3 1/2 hrs, it had to be an enormous charge, right? Billy the Very Fine and Bestest Plumber In All The World said.”$100”. Can you feel the energy around this? WOW was I blessed. Thank you God! Thank you God! Thank you God!

THAT WAS PROPERITY IN ACTION!

Stay tuned for more stories from these 12 weeks of classes. There’s a bunch.

Namaste,

Linda

I'm B - A - C - K

I took a hiatus from this blog months ago, expressing to you, patient readers, of the need to break for an imagined project of, what I then thought, was of great import and would consume my time.

It is certainty true that this latest leg of my journey is most definitely crucial, the pinnacle of import, but I have not been traveling in the direction in which I first embarked.

So I’m back again, for what that may be worth. I wish to share with you all of my discoveries, old and new. That of which I write is merely about one ordinary, yet at times, extraordinary life – mine. But it is my belief that my life is not much different from yours. Yes, our life experiences may vary but we are all connected, on a much more basic level than can be comprehended at first glance.

Read on in the coming days, weeks, months…I think I can help expose a glimpse of paradise to you, to all of us.

PEACE AND LOVE

Linda