In the Beginning...Part 1

When I was a child of ten or so, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up! I wanted to be a writer, a horseback rider and a ballet dancer. I remember day-dreaming, fantasizing (visualizing) myself actually doing these various activities and as the years progressed, I was fortunate enough to realize my dreams with various levels of success in all these areas.

Then something happened when ‘I grew up’. I found myself pouring my life into the lives of my children where I lost all my own dreaming for me in the ether of dreaming for them. But as invariably happens, they grow up and begin their own journey of dream acquisition. Only after the children (and husband) had flown the coop was I able to think, dream, ponder and fantasize for me again. What a fresh and exhilarating feeling!

Since their exodus I have discovered that I am not alone – many mid-life women (and men) have lost their own light or their light has been extinguished or at best, dimmed.
But it is NOT TOO LATE to turn that light back on. A fully operational spotlight on you!
Though I’m not claiming to be a model for “life discovery” or anything. I thought I’d like to share some of my own journey, which, by the way, I am still on and hope to be for a long, long time.

After the dissolution of my marriage and the departure of the baby chicks, I had to find an income producing activity since I had not developed one during the years of marriage and child rearing. I tried many sole proprietor ideas because I’m a rather independent sort and a bit of a free-spirit (read: not used to anyone telling me what to do or how to do it). Plus my thinking was that I didn’t want to work to make someone else rich…I’d rather just work at something and keep all the money myself. Naturally some of my schemes were more successful than others. I finally landed on an idea that worked pretty well for me…pet sitting. It quickly became a successful little business and soon I was working 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

I spent hours every day in the car so I began listening to books on tape. Any genre was acceptable from the classics to best sellers to self-help material as well as some wonderful success literature. I also had XM Radio which gave me access to additional information and teaching. I was passively seeking another career path because after 5 or 6 years, burn-out was moving in and I knew I couldn’t pet sit forever.

One fortuitous day I was listening to a tape by…ummmm...yup, that’s right, I can’t remember who it was but it was a fortuitous day and it was a turning point for me…anyway whoever it was was talking about life coaching. I’d never heard of life coaching but a lightning bolt of inspired insight zipped through my spirit and I knew instantly I had to learn more. I began doing intensive research online, read books, hired a coach for myself and finally went through coaching training. I discovered coaching to be so much fun and so rewarding. I could not wait to hang my shingle and get started. I’d found my new niche! I could coach anywhere in the world via the phone and so move into a more rural area (my dream) and take my business with me. I was ecstatic!

The economy, however was not ecstatic, in fact, was becoming downright depressed. Which is what I became as not only my brand new coaching/retreat business fluttered but did not fly AND my pet sitting biz proceeded to follow it down the tubes.

What’s a free-spirited entrepreneur to do?

Try something else, of course!

(to be continued...)

Land Crabs and Human Beans

Sweetie and I went to the beach last weekend to celebrate our anniversary. I love, love, love the beach...the glorious, amazing beautiful beach. We went to Longboat Key on the Gulf Coast of Florida and we were more than just a little bit worried about what we would find when we got there with the devastating oil spill and all. The beaches were nearly abandoned. I've never seen our Florida beaches so deserted in the summertime. To my utter relief and unbridled delight, the area we visited (so far) remains untouched, pristine and perfect.

I got up early one morning to try and capture some pics of the amazing wildlife that IS the Gulf of Mexico. I've been particularly intrigued with the land crabs. The first morning when Sweetie and I were enjoying our coffee and sitting on our back stoop/porch/landing...whatever...a crab had made the long journey from the beach to where we sat right outside our room. But so shy a creature and soooo F A S T ! ! ! No time to blink let along retrieve my camera and get a shot so I made it my mission to camp out in front of the many crab holes down by the water and just wait. These little side-walkers define the term "camera-shy".

Their habit of running and hiding in their hidey holes reminds me strongly of what we human beans do so much of our lives. The crabs have been equipped with huge black eyes and incredible speed with which to escape predators. From what are we running and hiding? Could it be we are afraid that we are not living our true authentic lives…not being true to our calling? Afraid to tell anyone, particularly those closest to us. Afraid that ‘this is all there is’? And that somehow we missed our calling but it’s too late to make a major change. Could we be stuck in a situation which we do not like but its familiarity is comfortable…the knowing of it is more secure than the unknowingness of change. So like the crabs, we stay in our safe little holes and peek out at the big world every now and then.

But we, as humans, do not have to live our lives as the land crabs do...afraid of even the shadow of the sun moving behind clouds. We are powerful beings with amazing opportunities to make change and discover our true beautiful authentic selves.

What is the first thing you will do TODAY to throw back the veil and uncover one piece of your passion, your joy?

"WHAT IS IT YOU PLAN TO DO WITH THIS ONE WILD AND PRECIOUS LIFE?"

Mary Oliver

Change is the name of Life's Game

After years of journaling, collecting dusty words in countless volumes, capturing many of the ups and downs, highs and lows, joys and sorrows of this mixed-up life of mine, I find myself running headlong into the looming, unknown abyss of the blogging world! Why? I don’t know, maybe it was inspired thought. It just seems like the next step. It “feels” right somehow. And I’m a huge believer in how things feel.

We all have unrealized dreams, unattained goals, unexpressed desires…well, maybe not ALL of us… but I would be willing to bet my sweet bippy (and what the heck is a “bippy”?) that ALMOST all of us sometimes feel unfulfilled or experience a sense, vague or glaring, of having somehow missed our boat. Childhood may have been the last time we thought about what we wanted to be when we “grew up”. But I firmly believe it’s NEVER too late to chase after those dreams, pursue those goals and “become what we were meant to be”. Our wandering spirits (read “confused”) may need to try on multiple experiences before we land on the perfect fit. Or maybe the fit only fits for awhile and then the urge to grow pushes us onward. But often we just get stuck and remain where we are, unsure how to rock ourselves out of the muck or, more likely too comfortable (read “too afraid”) to shake things up.

My experiences, while not unique in any sense, might be just the catalyst someone needs to step out of that familiar old box and stretch the sticky wings of their inner emerging butterfly. Personally I found most of my challenges and difficulties were during periods of transition and I’ve gone through ALOT of transition in the past 10 years or so. Yet through those transition times I found it more possible, more conceivable to evolve, try on those hats looking for the right fit. Life transitions us whether we like it or not. Might as well make the most of it.
This blog is about trying on different hats through the transitions of life. It’s about rediscovering those childhood dreams, grabbing a hold of those lost goals and going for it regardless of your age or any other perceived prohibitive factors. As I chat away in this blog I will re-visit some of my own stepping stones along my journey; share some of the side trips I took down unexpected paths. My hope is that by sharing my struggles, sorrows, successes and joys, confusions and revelations, maybe, a friendship of similar threads might weave us together. And that would be way cool !