The job I currently hold is one in which I help people with their personal documents. One morning last week a woman came to my desk that needed to make a name change due to a recent marriage. She was an attractive woman, probably in her early 60’s, hair and make-up perfect and she was impeccably dressed. The one conflicting aspect to this picture-perfect lady was that she was hooked up to an oxygen tank. As we got to talking she shared with me that she only had about six months to live which completely blew me out of the water because she looked SO healthy, SO well. She had been battling cancer for 9 yrs but the cancer cells had now reached a level of tolerance to chemo and the chemo just wasn’t working anymore.
She also shared with me that the reason she married at the midnight hour was because her now-husband had stuck by her side for the past nine years as she endured multiple surgeries and courses of radiation and chemotherapy. She said he deserved to receive anything that she possessed at her death since he had been so caring, nurturing and compassionate toward her during the past nine yrs. He had been so PRESENT.
I’ve recently run across a quote that really rocked my world and the conversation I had with my customer confirmed the truth of it.
“NEVER MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY WHEN THEY ONLY MAKE YOU AN OPTION”
WOW! That’s some powerful mojo. This dying woman experienced, over a period of many years, that she was a priority to the gentleman that she eventually married. But more importantly, as she pointed out to me…making me a priority and not an option is the first step toward drawing toward me people who will treat me likewise. If I waver, if I put my own self at the bottom of the totem pole, then I’ve already accepted that position and naturally others will follow my own example.
Again and again, I come face to face, eyeball to eyeball with my reflection in the mirror, finding myself cajoling, begging, demanding of myself more self-respect, more self-nurturing, more self care, more self-love. The thought is that the more I value my intelligence, creativity, beauty, the more I will be valued for such. Great in theory! My experience mostly has been that I allow others to determine my worth, my value, my beauty, my intelligence, and my creativity.
The woman I met who was standing there dying right before my eyes reeked of self respect and self- love. She was truly an angelic messenger that day bringing a bright sparkle of truth into my troubled and aching soul.
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