My Clothesline Experience

When I decided I wanted to start a blog, one of the most challenging parts, believe it or not, was coming up with a name for it. I looked at many other blogs and reviewed the names for them. Most were very catchy and cool though usually not pertinent to the subject material of the blog itself. So I made a list of what I thought were also catchy and cool names and took votes from family and friends but nothing really resonated in my heart.

So, as one of my most recent blog entries explained, I put it out to my subconscious, my higher self. I had just dozed off when it came to me from the deep recesses of my beanie little brain: ‘CLOTHESLINE EXPERIENCE’. I wrote it down on my pad of paper and went back to sleep. When I awoke in the morning I was amazed at what was on the paper. I called my bestest friend in Tennessee and related what had happened. “Of course!” she said. Then she added, “I had forgotten all about that.” Me too, or so I thought. So here’s the story of my clothesline experience:

About 28 yrs ago I was married, had a 10 yr old son and a 4 yr old son and a newborn baby girl. I also had a 5 yr old 120 pound Great Dane named Crystal, whom I loved. I had taken the baby and gone to the movies with my friend. While I was gone all hell broke loose. Apparently, Crystal had gotten away from whoever was handling her and attacked a neighbor’s dog. My then-husband, for whatever reason, got his rifle and killed my dog. By the time I returned home he had already “bagged” her and disposed of her somewhere. I still don’t know why. In any event, I was beside myself with confusion and rage. I was a wreck.

A couple of days later I was hanging out diapers on the clothesline. I was in such a dark place, so desperate and confused. I remember crying, sobbing really, as I reached down into the clothes basket, grabbed a sweet smelling clean diaper, shook it out and clipped it to the clothesline. I called out to God through my weeping to please! please! please! help me. I remember saying “I can’t fix this one, I’m so very lost and confused, please help me.” I let go of everything, acknowledging my helplessness.

And then it happened, right there at the clothesline. I was engulfed in love, in grace. As I walked back to the house, I physically felt an arm around my shoulders. My inner being and my outer environment were filled with love. There is no other word for it than love, light, grace.

God met me at the clothesline.