Kindness Matters

I met a young woman the other day who had some serious issues, some of which could possibly result in her arrest. She was so sweet and so open and vulnerable about her situation; I couldn’t help but be gentle and compassionate toward her, though all of her “stuff” was ultimately her responsibility.

At the end of our interaction she was very grateful. She ended our conversation by telling me that I was pretty. What a nice thing to say and, of course, I thanked her. She said, “If we complimented each other more, the world would be a nicer place.”

How true, how true.

We don’t get too much in the line of compliments after about the age of 2 or 3 years old. The world becomes a harsh, mean place where we dole out compliments as if they physically hurt us to do so. How can it harm us to tell someone they have great hair or a beautiful smile? Do we really believe the myth “You’ll get a big head!” if we compliment someone too much? Is that why we become so stingy giving them?

Well, we can change that one person at a time!

A gentleman came to me, needing help with his documents. He had the most handsome nose, very chiseled and Roman looking. I told him so. The next day he came back to complete the transaction and requested me. He told me it was because I complimented his nose and that made him feel good.

Just think…something so very simple can be so very profound.

Connected...Again

I had a few moments this morning when I felt so completely connected and full of love for everybody…and it happened in the most unlikely of all places, 7-11. It was quite early in the morning, around 5:15, and I was on my way to a rare, but deeply appreciated, pet sit.

When I walked into 7-11 to get a cup of coffee, my mental state was one of self-judgment. My inner critic was hot on the trail of beating me up…again. The energy within the store was surprisingly warm, a real sense of community. Everyone seemed to know each other; the solitary cashier and a police officer chatted convivially; other shoppers greeted each other with familiarity. I felt like I’d crashed a family reunion wherein everyone liked each other. It was nice and once again I felt connected…this time to humans.

I drove away feeling much less like a crabby island and more like a member of a happy village.

Connection

This morning I drove down to my beautiful and beloved lake. Before I even turned off the engine, I noticed an Ahinga (a Florida water bird) sitting on the dock – the same one who had been there a few days earlier. When I had first spotted him, he appeared to have a long worm or a long piece of intestine in his beak. As I watched him, however, it looked like he was trying to scrape something off his beak rather than eat the something. Looking more closely, I thought what I saw was a piece of rope about 4 inches long. Silently I swore at humans who dump nearly everything into the lake, ignorantly creating deadly situations for the resident wildlife. There was nothing I could do, so off to work I went.

But here he was again, still with that length of ‘something’ hanging from his beak. Now rather than try to scrape it off, he just sat there, burying his head under his wing. He’s starving, I thought to myself, becoming weaker and weaker. My heart was breaking but how could I help him. Maybe I could catch him?

I opened the door to my truck carefully, quietly…he didn’t move. I slipped off my outer flannel shirt…no response. I began approaching him over a distance of about 35 ft, expecting that at any moment he would startle and fly away. Amazingly, he didn’t. When I was about 3 feet from him I thought to myself ‘I’m going to do it.’ Two more steps and I threw my shirt over him and grabbed him! COOL !!! Except he immediately went for my eyes. I held his beak and examined the mess – and what a mess it was.

He did have rope, like clothesline line rope, wrapped and knotted completely around his beak. He was unable to open it enough to even get a drink of water. He would have perished for certain. But I had him now!

I immediately realized that this would be a two person job. I scanned the near empty parking lot until I found someone just emerging from her car. I called out to her and asked to help me. She agreed without reservation. Her name is Stacey.

I held the bird, holding his head and beak and she took the scissors I handed her and began to cut away the rope. It was quite a job and took some time. Soon we had the big piece off, but many small knots and fibers remained.

Fishing birds, like the Ahinga, have many small barbs or teeth on the ends of those long beaks. This enables them to hold the fish they catch so the fish cannot slip out of their beaks easily. The fibers of the rope were caught on these barbs making it quite difficult to finish the job easily. We wanted to be sure when we let him go that he was fully functioning again.

Interestingly, he stayed relatively still and quiet (except when I inadvertently let go of his beak and he pecked my face, ear and head) until the last fiber was removed. He knew when it was time to go. Stacey and I cheered in excitement when our rescue effort was successfully completed and he flew away, hopefully to enjoy his first meal in days. What a perfect moment! Stacey and I, complete strangers 30 minutes prior, hugged as only persons who have just accomplished a team effort, something meaningful will do.

WOW!

I am so blessed, I feel so prosperous because prosperity has little to do with money, and I feel so very connected to the Universe.

We are all connected to EVERYTHING.

Finding Answers

An acquaintance approached me last week and asked me if I had any books on motivation. Immediately she began complaining about having no support in a particular area of her life, stating that it was a scheduling issue and proceeding to list all the things that prohibited her from gaining the support she said she needs. When I suggested some solutions, her instant response began with “I can’t” or “but”. She really was not open to examining her situation and coming up with alternative options.

I never know what to say to a closed mind.

I believe there are ALWAYS options. They may not be easy or attractive but they are always there in one form or another.

Sometimes scraping some things off the proverbial plate is the starting point. This requires quiet stillness, slowing down to determine what should go and what should stay. And when I use the term slowing down, I mean a complete slowing…of body movement, of breathing, of thinking, of everything…almost a short period of hibernation. Only then can we see the big picture clearly. When we are in a frantic-cross-off-the-list mode, we cannot think clearly, see clearly or really KNOW much of anything, especially ourselves or our needs. WE certainly cannot come up with any alternatives, possibilities, or solutions.

I am blessed that I have a lake less than a block from my home. At this writing I am sitting on the dock on this exquisite Sunday morning. I chose to forgo church which is a mainstay in my life in order to slow myself down and take care of me. The water is my sanctuary, the dock my pew, the birds my fellow congregants, minister and worship team.

I am complete on this Sunday morning as I sit within myself and allow a creative stream of alternatives to rise within me. I see possibilities that I might have missed had I pursed my normal routine.

May you, too, slow down…and be prepared for your brilliance to emerge.

Lighting the Path

I went to visit my adult daughter recently. It was my first visit to her home which is located in Fort Bragg, NC, and though it is base housing and modest, her natural sense of beauty created a cozy and lovely living space. One of her items captured my attention…a large glass jar filled with wine bottle corks and a string of tiny white lights intertwined amongst the corks.

It reminded me of my life…how sometimes my path is clearly lit and other times (admittedly most of the time) the next light is hidden, waiting to be revealed. During these unclear times, I could choose to feel lost and frustrated, splashing about frantically in my own “jar of corks” searching for the next light. When I am centered in my truth, however, I know that the next step, or light, will be revealed in time, when the Universe in Its infinite Wisdom, knows I’m ready and prepared to move forward.

But what to do in the meantime? (Look at that word “meantime.” I often feel that the time in-between the lights IS a mean time). I am learning to just BE, to sit and wait, not with my hands folded neatly in my lap but rather in quiet stillness, meditation and confidence that the next step IS on its way and will be revealed. In time.

Follow your lights!